Curly Girl: Let it grow

9th August, 2013

It’s amazing what growing out your curls can teach you about yourself.  It’ll show you how anxious and impatient you might be, or it may reveal how much impact your hair and your looks have on how you feel about yourself.  A few months ago I woke up on a Saturday morning to a friend’s urgent text message asking me to call her the moment I got out of bed.  I immediately started wondering if everything was alright with her, with her family; she was recovering from an injury.  So I prayed and prepared myself, took a deep breath and dailed her number.


She answers.

Curly Girl:   “Hello?”
Me:               “Hey Lady!  What’s going on?”

Curly Girl:   “Hey, I’m good.  I’m good.  I have a question for you.”

Me:               “Ok?!!! What’s up?” {And it was right here that I could feel it…}

Curly Girl:   “Seriously, what do you put in your hair?

Like, what are the exact steps?

Me:              “Umm wel…” {No she didn’t just ask me about..”}

Curly Girl:  “I mean, is your hair curly when it’s wet?”

Me:              “Yeah”

Curly Girl:   “Are you sure? I mean how curly? Very curly? Wavy?  And how long did it take?

Because mine is…”

Me:                “Yes it’s very curly when it’s wet.”

Curly Girl:    “What do you use to make it curly?  Because I read on the inter…”

Me:                “The same stuff we talked about, a spoonful of Mixed Chix.  Just a little though.”

Curly Girl:    “Alllllriigghhht?????!!!!!!! 🙁  Hmmm… Okkkayyy then.”


After we got off the phone, I could tell that she felt like I was holding back and not mentioning some secret, magic potion or withholding a long list of hair tricks that I had in my pocket book.  But the truth is that we’d had this conversation a dozen times before, in fact, she had done sooooo much research on products about this type of hair, …for that long, or you could wrap it like this, use this conditioner, wash twice with this shampoo and on and on and on…  that she was actually teaching me about how complicated this could be.

Complicated and complexed breathes confusion.  The whole point and the beauty of the natural hair is to just let it be yours.  What ruins the journey is incessant counting of the months and days.  Comparisions to other girls is toxic to self-esteem and confidence.  It’ll ruin you.   Work with what you’re working with.  It’s beautiful, just the way it grows.  But if it isn’t allowed to grow and be itself you’ll never really see how it was truly meant to be… beautiful.

I recently read an interview in Lucky magazine with Salma Hayek, who now lives in Paris and wears her hair the way many of the Parisian women do – pulled back in a put together pony tail.  Salma mentions that her husband doesn’t prefer it, rather he loves her “wild just out of the shower, madwoman look.”  See????

When he loves you he will love you, the real you, the you that you accept.  So let it go, let it grow, let it be wild, let it be crazy-beautiful-and all over the place.  Don’t obsess about it; you’ll figure out what works for you.  What works for one person often doesn’t necessarily work on another, not the exact same way.  Like Salma’s mom says, “You think you know better than God?”

Relax and breathe, keep it simple and uncomplicated, have fun with it and become you.  It’s one of the best gifts to yourself… promise!


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